Pay the Price, Stay for the Show

I have found that when people slip in the back door and try to sit on the front row, they usually don’t get to see much of the show before being ushered out the front door.  If that sounds cryptic to you, the explanation may seem strange also, and well…, just hear it through.  

Movie theaters are built with the back at the front and the front at the back.  Consider this.  Most theaters have a front entrance which is normally located near the theater auditorium entrance, which is located in the back of the auditorium room itself.  

Normally, for fire code reasons, there are emergency exits located at the front of the auditorium just to the left, or right, of the stage or screen.  This front of the auditorium room is normally located at the rear of the theater building.  So there you have it.  Movie theaters are built with the front at the back, and the back at the front.  Now, back to my initial statement about what I have found to be true about people who slip in the back door.   

When I was a kid, and occasionally got to go to the movies on Saturday morning, there were always some kids who thought they had uncovered a cheap way to see the movie that no one had ever thought of before.  One kid would pay to get in and then he would open the rear emergency exit door, located just in front of and beside the front stage and screen, to let his buddies in for free.  Of course opening that door flooded the front of the darkened theater with sunlight, and everyone, including the projectionist and ushers, could easily see who came in and where they went. 

Like the little geniuses they were, the sneaks usually dove for seats on the front row, where no sane person would sit due to neck breakage in trying to see the screen.  About thirty seconds later they were being escorted out the front door, which was located at the rear of the auditorium, by giant usher people, armed with security guard style flashlights.  Soon they were embarrassingly ejected out of the back of the auditorium which was at the front of the theater.

For some reason, I never felt sorry for the sneaks that always got caught and embarrassed.  In fact, in my child’s mind, I always felt they were cheating me, because I had paid the fair price along with everyone else, and they were trying to get an unfair and dishonest access .  There were a lot of good reasons the little sneaks’ efforts were wrong then, and there are a lot of reasons trying to sneak in the back door is still wrong today.  

Why people even try this stunt is beyond me.  When they try sneaking in the back door, they still come in right in front of everybody, bathed in light.  We all see who they are and what they are doing.  One thing has changed though.  It’s not with my child’s mind that I reason with the behavior now.  In my adult mind I find adults acting like this deplorable.  Adult actions, no matter how juvenile in their formulation, carry adult consequences.

By now, hopefully, you’ve figured that I’m not speaking specifically to movie theaters and kids trying to slip in the emergency exits.  I’ve probably written enough for this post.  If you’re a sneak consider this.  You came in the back door, which turned out to be the front. And, now you face being thrown out the back, which will turn out to be the front, where you will be embarrassed in front of all of those people who are paying the price to come in the right way.   

By the way, those of you that paid the price and will be staying for the show; popcorn and drinks are on me.

Surround yourself with people who love you, work that you love, and a cause that you believe in.

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Wherever You Go, There’s Your Baggage

Don’t bother Googling the phrase “Wherever you go, there you are.”  If you attempt to read about all the people who are either, credited with the quote or lay claim to it being their own, you will still be reading at this time next year, and still not have the issue resolved.  I’ve read attributes to some guy from Pennsylvania, who claimed he invented it as an 8 year old, to Buckaroo Banzai, to Confucius.  Similar quotes date back to before 1100 AD.  There was even a book written by a proponent of meditation by that title.  Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D. published his book “Wherever You Go, There You Are” in paperback, in 2005.

Suffice to say that the concept is not new.  In fact, it is one of those “duh” moment things, that just about any one of us would think of at some point or another in our life.  What we seldom think about is that our baggage also goes with us wherever we go.  Good baggage, bad baggage, and just stuff baggage; all travel with us throughout our lives.  That’s something that we as entrepreneurs, or those among us who set out on new paths in our lives, often forget.  We see ourselves as turning a page in our lives, leaving the old behind, and bringing in the new.  Oh, but were it just that easy!  While there are things we can leave behind, the baggage still goes with us, both good, and bad, plus the just stuff.

Let me explain a little further, because I think that this surprise, that shouldn’t be a surprise, is often the first discouraging bump in the road that we hit when striving for a new goal or start-up venture.  And, it may be the one that takes the most steam from us without our ever realizing what has happened.  I hope, by the end of this post, to offer a little perspective which will help us get past this particular bump in the road.  

The first principle is as simple as this; If you are bad at math now, why would you suddenly become a mathematical genius just because you have a great idea for a new business?  You won’t.  Your bad math skills baggage will be right there with you in your new business until you improve them.

Now let’s say you also have the people skills of Bill Clinton, and you intend to rely on those skills in a new business.  Your people skills aren’t going away just because you are going into a new business.  You will be able to rely on those skills as you venture into your new business, just as you always have.  For some reason many of us think that a fresh start puts us on a new train and leaves all the old baggage (good, bad or just stuff) sitting on the train station platform.  The fact is, you’re the same person, just headed in a new direction, with a great deal of new enthusiasm.  Then when you trip over your own baggage, and your new venture suffers because of it, what happens?  Discouragement!

The big issue here, is to not let baggage discourage you.  The way to do that, is to realize, up front going into any new venture, that “wherever you go, there you are.”  Even when we completely loose some bad habits, or improve our skills, the mistakes and wounds of the past will always be there back in the past, and we will always carry forward some of the consequences and scars.  THAT SHOULD NEVER STOP YOU FROM GOING FORWARD.  If it does, then you weren’t pursuing a goal, but rather running to hide in an escape attempt.  That’s right.  If you let discouragement set in, then your goal wasn’t the new venture, but to escape.  Always examine your true motives before entering a new venture.  The same can, and should, be applied to your personal goals.

Point two to the situation of carrying your baggage, is illustrated very well by advice I read years ago in a Dear Abby column.  Someone wrote to Abby to say that after years at a dead end job, they had the opportunity to go to college, but they were 32 years old and would be 36 when they graduated in four years.  Abby wisely replied with a question, “And, how old will you be in four years if you don’t get your degree?”  The same principle applies here.  Would you rather just stay with the baggage and never go for the gold, or would you rather be achieving your goal with your baggage?  That’s another “duh” right?

Make it simple.  If your math skills are bad you can improve them, but still any consequences from the years when your skills were bad, will always be there.  If you bounced checks, because you couldn’t properly balance your check book, then that is part of your record that you will just have to live with.  What you can do, is improve your record for the future.  If you have a bad limp, and there is nothing to be done about it, and you happen to consider that baggage, then decide you will live with it and go for your goal.  Would you rather limp with a new venture and an achieved goal or just limp without them?  “Duh” again, right?

As you set out for your next goal or set upon the trail of a new venture, don’t be discouraged if a bit of your adult baggage follows you around.  It will be there whether or not you pursue your goal or strike up a new venture.  Believe me.  It is easier to live with your baggage when you are succeeding, than it is to live with it when you have abandoned you goals and quit trying!  What a lousy excuse for giving up! No matter whether your baggage is good, bad, or just stuff; acknowledge the baggage, then full steam ahead!

Surround yourself with people who love you, work that you love, and a cause that you believe in.

A Lesson from a 100 Year Old Girl Scout.

Yesterday I had the great honor of spending some time with, who I then thought could be, the world’s oldest living girl scout.  I wasn't very far off.  At my office, the large meeting room is turned over to a local girl scout troupe a couple of evenings a month for their meetings and activities.  Their assistant scout leader, who as a young girl was herself a girl scout, never misses a meeting.  And, even though she gets about with the assistance of a walker, her mind is as sharp and focused as ever.  At age 100 she still commands the respect of her troupe.  That’s what you call long term commitment!

Dedication, determination, commitment, persistence, all those words go into the same funnel of "sticking with it".  What does it take to develop that kind of long term commitment which is demonstrated with unfailing dedication?  Belief, and faith.  Belief in what you are doing, and faith that the intended goals and outcomes will be borne out.  

The odds are against the 100 year old girl scout leader ever living to see any of the girls in her troupe blossom into adulthood, but she has seen it happen before.  It happened to her, so she has a strong belief in the teachings and experiences of scouting and what they can do to shape life outcomes for young girls.  Because of this, she has faith that what she does with these girls will make a positive difference in their lives. Because she has a strong belief, and faith, she is able to continue, even at age 100, with commitment.   

When we can clearly define what we strongly believe in, we can act with faith, demonstrating a firm commitment that can span and influence multiple generations to come.  I challenge you to begin a list of your strongest beliefs, the ones on which you will act, based on faith, without question.  Review these occasionally, updating them when you feel strongly enough to change how you act and direct your life. 

Based on your list of beliefs, begin to act in faith and along paths that will give you opportunity to support, and promote those beliefs.  Before long, you will be amazed at how easy it will become to make decisions that you can live with.  At best, you will see that your decisions, which are consistently based on those beliefs, lead to long term outcomes that consistently are in the right place for your greater benefit, and also for those whose lives you touch.  At the very worst, you will leave this world, having stood for something.   And that’s the lesson I’ve learned from the 100 year old girl scout.  

Post Script:  After writing this post I researched a bit and found that the oldest living girl scout in South Carolina just turned 105 years old.  Unless there has been an untimely death, the oldest in the world is 110. 

Surround yourself with people who love you, work that you love, and a cause that you believe in.

How to Outgrow Your Zone

Today, a group of friends gathered for lunch to wish well to one of our circle as she prepares to launch into a new assignment.  She's been full of apprehension about the unknowns she will face and sadness at leaving behind the familiar faces and surroundings where she operated with complete confidence.  I tried to cheer and encourage her with a couple of quotes.  I threw out Albert Einstein's "In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity."   Then I threw out "Things always turn out the best for those who make the best of how things turn out.", a quote often attributed to, Jack Buck, Ty Boyd, and Art Linkletter, among others.

I don't think I made a whole lot of impact, but then I really don't think I had to.  She's got grit and will do just fine in her new position and location.  Actually, none of us like being pushed out of our comfort zone.  I know exactly how she feels.  I've felt the same way many times and was in a similar situation myself just a few weeks back.  But, I've found that each time I was pushed out of my comfort zone, I grew as a person and expanded my capacity and influence.  My confidence grew, along with my competence.

My advice to anyone is that if you don't get pushed out of your comfort zone every few months or weeks, then push yourself out there.  Try as hard as you may to continually learn and grow, there's nothing that can give you the quick personal growth in leaps, like the sink or swim experience of stepping outside of your standard zone of comfort.  The further you can step, and the longer you can stand the heat, the greater your growth will be.  In fact many performance coaches instruct their trainees to continuously stay just outside of their comfort zones.

It can be as small as asking for directions when you normally wouldn't, introducing yourself when you normally wouldn't, striking up a conversation with a stranger when you normally wouldn't, or taking on a project that will be difficult for you, if you can complete it at all.  On that last one?  When you find the willingness to try, you will be amazed at how far you can progress, and at the help and competent advice you will draw to yourself, as just payment for trying.

In fact, the further you travel along a path toward your goal, a surprising thing will start to happen.  You will find advice, assistance, and knowledge that you could not have used nor uncovered when you first started.  But you see, as you travel along the path of your project, you learn, you gain competence and confidence, and of equal importance, you will make connections to people and resources of which you previously were unaware.

I'll wrap this up with a couple of final quotes. "I have learned this at least by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." —Henry David Thoreau

While the lotto is just entertainment for people who are bad at math, I have to give credence to their mantra, "If you don't play, you can't win!"


Surround yourself with people, work, and a cause, that you love, then boldly step out of your comfort zone.